Host of Netflix’s "Queer Eye," Boundary-Breaking Entrepreneur and Author
What are you drinking?
Honey, when I saw you pick up yours earlier, I was jealous. I’m ready. This is my little beer cocktail.
You love a beer, don’t you?
I do. I was raised with a lot of lesbians and they would force me to drink beers.
How are you holding up personally? How are your kids? How have you been coping with everything?
Listen, it has been a roller coaster of emotions. One moment I think, “Oh, I got this, we’re going to handle this. The pandemic’s almost over. I’m good,” and then the next day I think, “Girl, I can’t deal with this mask. My kids are on my nerves. I can’t watch one more TikTok. I can’t do it. I’m not going to try to pretend I know how to make bread anymore.” It’s a roller coaster. It’s okay to acknowledge that we’re going up and down. Some days we’re happy, some days we’re sad, some days we’re afraid because there’s still this uncertainty. But then there’s some days where we just feel hopeful. Like today, we can have a cocktail, “A Drink With Live!,” and work it out.
People always come to you for advice. You coach and motivate people. Thank you for sharing that nobody has this whole thing figured out.
Of course. It’s a good reminder that if you’re with anybody who pretends like everything is okay all the time, that’s the person you need to be checking in on the most. Because sometimes we forget that our strongest friends are dealing with so much pressure. I always make an effort to check in, especially with my strong female friends, asking, “Hey, you okay?” Because society forces women to put on this, “Be strong all the time. Everything’s good. I’m fine. I got all of this,” act. Check in on those strong friends and say, “It’s okay to release right now. You don’t have to fully break down if you don’t feel comfortable. You don’t have to share everything if you don’t feel comfortable, but know I’m available for you.” Then, secondly, if when you say to them, “It’s okay to not be okay,” they still continue to be okay, don’t you start picking up those behaviors. You got to run for your own safety, you got to run for your own health. You don’t want to start saying to yourself, “I’m going to pick up this behavior where I pretend like everything’s okay,” because that’s a slippery and unhealthy slope.