Your family came to the suburbs of Chicago from Poland when you were 5 years old. How often do you make it back to your hometown?

Once or twice a year, not too often.

Would you say you’re accurately portrayed on “The Real Housewives of Miami”?

Okay, I want to make one damn thing clear; I don’t have an alcohol problem! Last season was really tough for me because I’m a lightweight. For people who love to criticize, look in the damn mirror! Unless you’re perfect, then go ahead and criticize. I was put in a situation with women that I didn’t like—I won’t say names—and if I had two drinks I was already wasted so I’m sorry, I’m human and I can make mistakes. People love to judge and it drives me crazy but for the record I don’t have a f-cking alcohol problem, damn it!

This season cameras follow you into the bedroom as you work on your sex life with Romain. Now that you two have gotten married are you having more sex?  

I wouldn’t say more, it’s not on a regular basis. Sometimes it’s better, sometimes it’s not. It’s definitely still a work in progress.

Have you had any regrets about sharing that part of your relationship with the public?

You know what? I am glad I brought it up. It’s a part of my life and I’m not the type of person to fake any aspect of who I am. People are going to judge me no matter what so I might as well be real. It’s hard to talk about because it is a personal issue but I brought it up on the show so I can’t pretend not to want to talk about it now. The interesting part is that a lot of my friends who would never talk about it before are now like, “You know what, Joanna? I really don’t have sex as often as I want,” so not everyone is perfect, everyone has their issues but some people just love to live in their bubble and not talk about it.

When you first met Romain, how soon did you two sleep together?

Right away! However, before that we actually fell in love through phone calls and emails. We didn’t have our first kiss until after that month because I was out of town and he was in Miami … I’m definitely the opposite of a traditional girl. I’ve only had eight boyfriends in my life who I’ve dated and was serious with so I wasn’t the type of girl who screwed around. Every guy that I’ve slept with I ended up dating. I didn’t waste any time!

What is something you can’t go a day without?

My phone, definitely.

Guilty pleasure?

Chocolate volcano cake.

If you could be on any other “Real Housewives” cast, which one would you choose?

Since I’m bicoastal, I would definitely choose Beverly Hills. I can relate to them as well.

Biggest insecurity?

Everyone is insecure about certain things. If the lighting is bad I can totally see my cellulite, that’s one thing. Sometimes I wake up with my eyes being puffy. Everyone has some kind of imperfection, nobody is perfect.

The show documented the rocky relationship between your husband and your sister Marta. Have things gotten better since the wedding?

They are in a better place for sure but it was really hard because she didn’t want to film at all during the most recent season. She felt that last year was very toxic being around the women so she didn’t want to be around that again. It was really hard for me because I felt like I didn’t have her with me when I was planning the wedding but we are definitely in a better place now. It was just tough.

Who are you closest with off camera?

Off camera I hang out mostly with Karent [Sierra], Lea [Black] and Ana [Quincoces]. Lea and I became closest this year. I hang out with Lisa [Hochstein] too but we had a little up-and-down situation during the season. I would say those four I hang out with on a regular basis.

What is it like running into cast members when you are not filming? Especially those you are not friends with.

I am the type of person where what you see is what you get so I genuinely like Karent, Lisa, Ana and Lea and off camera I really am friends with them. When I see the other girls I’m very polite like, “Hi, how are you?” but obviously I don’t pretend to be their best friend. Towards the end of the season Adriana [De Moura] and I came to a peaceful place so there is a better feeling between us now. Now at least if I know I’m going to see her I don’t have that knot in my stomach because that’s the worst feeling ever.

How much of the show is staged?

A lot of times if we’re going through something in our life we will usually wait until we know we are filming to talk about it. It’s just easier and more therapeutic for me to wait until we are filming, especially for the serious stuff with Romain like our sex therapy sessions. I think I have more balls on-camera to actually talk about it … When we film morning or bedtime scenes it is really early in the morning or late in the evening so we’ll wake up and be like, “Wait, hold on! Let me put on my powder!” or before we go to sleep we play with the producers like, “No, this is really how I go to bed,” and then as soon as we are done we wash our face.

Are the reunion shows as uncomfortable as they seem?

You have no idea! Last year was my first reunion and I couldn’t believe it. Andy [Cohen] said that our reunion was the record for the quickest reunion, I don’t want to lie to you, but I think we were done in eight or nine hours. Normally it can take up to 12 hours.

Are you guys drinking during the reunion?

We can but I didn’t drink because obviously after I have one or two drinks if somebody pisses me off I get really verbal. You don’t understand, I had never done a reunion before and Andy [Cohen] was talking to me and within the first five minutes Adriana started barking at me! I’m like, “We are five minutes into the reunion, chill. We have hours ahead of us.” I was thinking, “Oh my God, what is happening?” It’s really tough.

Least favorite aspect of filming?

When I decided to do a reality show I wasn’t going to just pick the good things to showcase that were happening in my life, I was going to involve everything. Sometimes after you’ve involved the really serious stuff you’re thinking, “Uh oh, I can’t believe I did this,” and then four months later you’re watching it and reliving it. That’s the hard part, the reliving of it.

We have to say, you act exactly as you are on the show.

Thank you! I don’t try to pretend like I’m somebody that I’m not, you know?  What pisses me off are people who try to pretend like they are so perfect, I’m not going to name names but it’s really annoying. Just don’t pretend that you are somebody you’re not!

If you could have a drink with anyone, who would it be?

I would love to have a drink with Angelina Jolie. I think she is one of the most amazing women in the world. She is such an inspiration to me. I started Angels for Animal Rescue and I would love to be the Angelina for animals. We all eventually die one day and when you look back and think at that point in your life about what have you done I really don’t want to have any regrets.

KIRSTEN MICCOLI PHOTOGRAPHY